Whether your dog can philosophize is not a puzzle you need to look to the Oxford English Dictionary to resolve.
Egnor: “Think of the irony: a professor of philosophy, who is paid only to reason, uses reason to argue against reason. Welcome to the bowels of atheist metaphysics.”
The wish to demote, punish, and degrade ourselves this way, a neurosis special to our modern culture, is itself, ironically, a tribute to human exceptionalism.
If what separates us from other animals were material in nature, material alone, then perhaps we could look to a material process for an explanation.
Whether in Warner Bros. cartoons, old jokes, or on Twitter, a good deal of humor has been derived from supposing that animals could talk.